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  • mcarlsson posted in the group The Urban Shaman Discussion Group 4 years, 6 months ago

    Hi everyone and thanks Aimee for the invite. I am couraged to put something into writing so I’ll try with this little piece of one experience I had once. I welcome any discussion regarding the event so just feel free in any way.

    apprentice and the duality dilemma

    One day I
    got the “calling”. Many things came to me, appeared when the time was right.
    One of those things were to find out how to talk and communicate with spirits
    and such entities. “How” is another story but I found a very simple technique
    to get to it and lo and behold, it actually worked.

    I began to
    get a communication going, giving me information that under no circumstance
    could emanate from my own psyche. My first teachers were the forest, and the
    trees, who helped me navigate through an entirely new landscape. They learned
    me all I had to know about manners and behavior in this etheric realm. And many
    other things too. They introduced me to different entities for different
    lessons, and their preparations made me able to interact without making all too
    much of a fool of myself, at least not worse than I were excused.

    One of
    those entities were Pan. How do I know it was Pan? Because when you meet
    someone new, you introduce yourself politely and you will get an equal polite
    presentation in return. It’s not hard. Don’t fool other’s and they won’t fool
    you. Respect is the key, not in the inferior meaning but heartfelt and honest.

    My meetings
    with Pan always took place in the forest, and as Pan is a deity of the forest,
    it was suitable. Many strange things happened with Pan but I’d like to focus on
    one certain event. At this time, everything happening to me in my “etherical
    communication” had crystallized into an educational program. Lesson after
    lesson appeared in an obvious logical order, every session leading to the next
    and bringing into practice what I’ve learned the other day in theory. I had
    classmates too, I’m not the first person seeing evidence of a controlled
    education system in this respect. Very intriguing.

    Now, during
    my lectures with Pan, I stood at a certain point in my education. We all live
    through our lives trying to do our best, most of us have an intention to be
    “nice” but our ego keep tripping us in that ambition. We end up being “mostly
    nice, at least” and we fall again, and rise again. I was at the beginning of
    understanding what the power of our mind can do, and how it may affect others.
    I understood the idea that free will comes before anything I would like to do
    for someone. It’s not necessarily a good deed to help someone that doesn’t want
    help. In fact, that would be a bad thing, overriding another person’s ambitions
    of their experience. And so we have karma. If I help someone who doesn’t want
    help, karma won’t take it lightly. I thought (and still think) that free will
    is maybe the most important rule in this universe. Our ability to break it for
    other’s is a lesson in understanding the importance of that rule. You can, but
    you simply don’t. And this gave me a dualistic dilemma to cope with, a paradox
    of immense proportions arised.

    First of
    all, I felt that a vague ambition to be “nice” were too shady, I couldn’t
    navigate by that weak standpoint. I had to ask myself who I am. Am I “good” or
    am I “bad” and which one do I want to be? I mean really? If I’m good, I would
    always respect free will. If I’m bad, free will is inferior to my free
    will. Do I want to do conjuring tricks like manifesting a pile of money on my living
    room floor? Heck YES! Because it’s possible. But can I do this and remain a
    good guy? I wasn’t sure. Where would that money come from, if they manifested
    at my place? Energy has to be in balance so someone must lose them in order for
    me to get them. Not something a nice guy would do. Then again, why would the
    universe stop me from fulfilling my dream? Spoiler alert: It wouldn’t. I am
    free to do it, and karma would watch me do it. OK, easy, then live your life in
    ashes, because that’s what’s left to do for nice guys, they wont get anything
    or karma gets angry.

    And how
    about this: Imagine that I find a good deed to do, let’s say helping someone
    that actually wants help. And I do this. And there’s a spectator not wanting me
    to do this. Universe doesn’t judge between good or bad, it’s in their right,
    their free will wanting me to not help the other person. So if I help person
    number 1, I cross the free will of person number 2. What a dilemma.

    I guess the
    only thing you can do to remain “good” is just about nothing. As little as
    possible. I began to understand the monks of the Buddhistic monasteries,
    sweeping their path before them to avoid stepping on any bugs on their way. It
    made sense. And still, how can you be sure that every bug on the road is saved?

    The more I
    thought of it, there seemed to be only one good deed to do in this world, and
    that was to kill yourself. It was the only way to minimize the damage a living
    person would do to the world, given that the ambition were to be a “good”
    person. Extreme, but so far it made sense.

    The problem
    with such a thing is that it takes full respect on all free will in the
    universe, except mine. Not just that I wasn’t suicidal, but if all free will
    counts, then my free will also counts. This is not the solution, it would be
    ridiculous if it were. So, did “living” mean “bad”, is all the good stuff just
    a deception, are we meant to be bad, are we meant to see the lie of “good”
    through and live for our own sake and interest? Well, it was clearly a
    possibility but I was equally clear with my intentions, I wanted “good” but
    couldn’t find out how in the world that would be possible.

    Pan had to
    listen to my ramblings about this subject, and listened very patiently, giving
    me a nugde here and there, trying to tweak and realign the subject but I
    couldn’t see it. I was battling this paradox of duality for several weeks but
    couldn’t get past this point.

    At one
    point I gave up, I couldn’t solve it, but I had to, so I decided to begin all
    over in hope of finding my error in the equation. Pan couldn’t take more of
    this bullshit. He raised his voice and spoke to me, loud and clear:

    You have
    many questions. You don’t need those questions. You have a heart.

    End of
    discussion. I dropped my jaw, literally. Yes I do have a heart. Apply the
    intelligence and intuition of the heart to any situation, just any, and properly
    done, without any ego involved, the actions taken by the heart will always be
    the proper one. The intention of the heart is incapable of making a move that
    will cross the intention and will of another heart.

    What about
    the free will of those that would want to hurt me or someone else? Who cares
    about the will of someone not using their heart in the moment? The heart
    doesn’t. Free will is not the same thing as the right to instant gratification.
    It is a gift from one heart to another. This solved every one of my paradoxes. It
    ended all questions concerning duality, black and white, good or bad, back and
    forth, because there is only one color, red as the heart. You don’t have to
    crawl in the dust in order to be a good guy, you just have to use your heart.

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