The Urban Shaman

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The Seven Surrenders of Flesh Suspension: A Testimony of Urban Psychospiritual Ritual

The Urban Shaman® is honored to sponsor this submitted article by Felicity Alaska. It has been edited.


The first surrender: the mind.
Am I going to do this?
Yes, I am. I want this.
For my own reasons, whatever they may be, I want this. I’m scared, but I consent to this.

The second surrender: the body.
The facilitator sets the stage, creates the space, asks that shoulders come back, marking, forward again. The process is deliberate.
Flesh pulls, tugs- discomfort, and again.
The question rises: am I going to do this?Yes… I am. I want this.The first moment- the setting of the needle against skin. “Breathe”, they tell you… “Breathe.” Fear, anxiety, stress. A very LARGE needle is about to pass through my body. “Breathe… at the height of three, we go.”
Little do you know that the setting of the hook is as intensely intimate for the facilitator as it is for you. Wanting the perfect set, the perfect experience for you. But you don’t know that. They are serene, a guide.
Surrender- knowing one more is yet to come. But hey, that wasn’t so bad. What was done once can be done again, and now you know what to expect.Second verse, same as the first, a little bit louder, a little bit worse. But not really.
You can center yourself, breathing. Your friend may be holding your hands. You draw strength from their eyes. Their touch. Their energy. You are loved here. There is nothing but support for the journey you are about to take.
You feel the prick- second needle. “Breathe…” says the facilitator, and you do. Eyes locked on your friend, eyes locked on a place, you draw your strength. “Breathe…” Your chest inflates, deep belly breaths, flooding your mind and body with oxygen and awareness, senses afire.
One, two, three, and the second needle passes through the flesh, with the exhalation of old ideas, old patterns, old junk. You release. Carbon dioxide, certainly, but more than that: fear, anxiety, a perfect, perfect surrender. A few moments, and the second hook is settled. Taped to your skin, but you feel it. Oh, you feel it. Weight, where previously there was none, a mass, within your body, where before there was none, rigid yet so........freeing.

The third surrender: self.
“Dance”, they say. Take the hooks into yourself. They belong to you. Breathe, dance, stretch- the more you become one, the better you will feel. And I have seen it. A butterfly on wings of beauty, dancing. They became a part of her. You stretch, move, take them in, savor the experience. Feel the tightening against the skin and move to mitigate it. This is your journey, and yours alone. We are simply here to support and bear witness to one another.
And have no doubt, whether this is your first flight or one of many, it is always a journey. Always. Life shifts, life changes. As does your intention. No flight is the same as the first- that high lasts for days, just integrating the experience, and knowing what you accomplished. And each flight is unique, unlike any that have come before, and any that will come after. A suspended moment in time. Each has its purpose, its own intention. Yours is simply to be present to the experience, in all its' nuances, its' flavors.

Surrender four: trust.
Rigging and tension. You’ve seen the rigging plate, complete with straps, waiting for you.Again, the question, “Am I ready for this?”Yes… you are.Safe and secure in the love around you, to the plate at the facilitator’s direction. This person is your guide. They will not let you fall, they will not fail you. They will be with you every step of the way, because that is what they do. Facilitate, hold space, guide, banish fears.You’ve got this.. you do.
You begin to settle, strength and purpose becoming clear. Why are you here?
Remember.What do you want to accomplish? Shackles attached, cord strung, it’s your journey now, but not entirely alone. Witnesses. But more than that. We stand here, in our love and in our strength, and it’s yours, free for the taking. A gift, from those who know where you are, and what you are walking through, to those whom you inspire with your courage to someday take a journey of their own. But they are here, holding space for you as the nerves fire up, as the slack is consumed, as the real journey begins… surrender.
The fifth surrender: mind/body/spirit.
Every facilitator does it differently. There is no one true way. Some ask you to lean into it, and they will lift you- a total guide. Some may hand you the rope and instruct you to lift yourself- this is your journey.
What to know about this: there is a tremendous surrender to the hooks. To the fear, to the doubt, to the love, and to the joy. When you place your faith in another, you trust them to know you better in some ways than you know yourself- what your limits are, and to push you past them.
To help you achieve your goal. Lean into the hooks. Lift your feet off the ground. Take your time. I will only take what you give me.
Breathing is critical. It disperses bad energy, it fills the body with oxygen and light, restores calm, banishes anxiety and nausea- common adrenaline responses to what you have chosen to subject your body to.And isn’t that part of it? Trusting your body to take care of you? That it can do this, defy gravity on just so many small square inches of space of skin? Aren’t you TRUSTING? Pushing through fear and doubt, to laugh with joy in the triumph over adversity. All of the adversity. It's that moment of power, of being able to say “FUCK YOU” to anything that says you can’t do this. To lift your feet and fly.
I’ve seen it- the unwilling, the joyous, the determined and the fearful, but the physical process is the same.
One foot lifts… breathing… up, up, up… till one dances upon a toe’s breadth. Already flying, if you only knew. But that last contact is the hardest. To let go. To let go of fear. To simply let go to the experience.
Nerves afire, feeling your body in different way, to let go. Let it all go and trust. The hardest things we will ever do in life, let go and have faith.
Each moment is different, whether it is a “fuck you, I’ve got this”, or a simple lift of the feet. And in the moment you're so present with it that you may not even know yet what you’ve accomplished, because you are so focused. But the result is always the same. Your feet leave the ground and you are flying.. defying.. gravity. One of the universe’s great laws, and yet here you are, defying it. Anxiety slips away as the euphoria rises.Yes! ….. oh, fuck yes….
Euphoria, intention, desire, clarity, life. Everything melts away and it all becomes so much simpler when you are absolutely in sync with your body, with your experience.
Surrender six: self-acceptance
If you have a facilitator who says lift yourself, here are my thoughts:
You’ve been handed your rope. All has been explained. You are on your own. But not. Everyone is with you, holding space, encouraging you on.So you have this rope, a direct line to your senses. You can push as hard as you want, or not. Every body, every sensory system, is different. Perhaps it is not your day to fly. Perhaps you pull and pull and learn something from that journey. Perhaps you dance in beauty and light, experience a complete fulfillment of your heart. That is very okay too. Because here, in this space, we accept one another totally.But if you have your rope, and you're responsible to lift yourself, you'll fight yourself even more in the process. Taking your time, giving what you are ready for, your journey, your walk, the empowerment that offers, is very different from the trust you give to the one who lifts you. It is an amazing feeling to lift yourself, but know that, for absolute flight, your journey is not yet over.The seventh surrender: control.
Technicals come into play here. The rigging, of which you are only partially aware of now, is still holding part of your weight as you lift yourself. But to be weightless you’ve got to surrender your rope. You’ve walked the path- the hooks, the meditation, the breathing, the lifting, you’re in the air, but now to surrender your rope - your safety line?! To completely let go of the control we think we have over our lives, to trust another soul after already doing so much to set ourselves free- are you fucking kidding me?No.. I am not. Give me your rope. You’ve done so well. Look at you, swinging and content. Trust me. Trust your body. Take just a little bit more, I promise you will not regret it. Let me hold this for you. I can carry it until you want it back. I am your guide and your support. I will not fail you. Let go.. let it all go… and be free.If you go this route- surrendering the rope- the hardest thing you will ever let go of. We cherish our safety lines. But to let them go is to be truly free.There are a few more bits to the experience- the ministrations as you come down, as the shackles are released, as the hooks are removed and any air massaged out. But that is what they are, ministrations.

You’ve walked one hell of a journey. One that has been an honor and a privilege to be present for and to hold space for. I grow as you do, whatever my role in this moment we've shared together. You are an incredible soul and I’ve watched you along a journey, to what end I cannot know, but I am grateful. Grateful that I could be there.

A last note about the moments after:

You’ve just opened holes in your body. You’ve created holes in your heart and in your soul, and filled them too. When the hooks come out, you are open, more so than you may ever have been in your life. Things will come in and things will come out. Embrace them.

You are growing and evolving, and some of those responses may surprise you, some may rock you to your core. But as always, you are never alone. There are many with you on your path, on your journey, and we stand by you, always. In love and light….

This… this is suspension… to me.

Our goal here at The Urban Shaman® is to encourage healthy discussion to further our contemporary definition of shamanism and enhance our local practice. We do not intend to instigate or promote argument or divisiveness. Rather, we believe we can achieve unity and clarity within the wholeness of the full shamanic expression. We would like to provide a safe space for everyone to explore shamanism with mutual respect, and to promote the concept of the shamanic archetype, while dispelling the myths and biases of the stereotype. These exploratory questions are intended to encourage this process and open up the discussion.

  • Modern flesh suspension is similar in external practice to the Sun Dance, which is a practice of the many plains native North American tribes, including the Sioux. How do you think modern flesh suspension troupes might differ from Sun Dancers, and how might they be similar?
  • What aspects of Felicity's experience can you relate with, or did her testimony offer any personal insights, or strong reactions?
  • In Felicity's experiences and her orientation to the practice of body suspension, she uses the ritual for connecting and healing. But is there potential for flesh suspension to also be harmful, or for the processing of the experience to bring up traumas or other difficult emotions- and how might that be mitigated? Are facilitators responsible for that?
  • Do you think flesh suspension can cause a shamanic initiation? How?
  • Do you think facilitators of flesh suspension, or what Felicity calls "guides" express aspects of the shamanic archetype? In what ways? And if no, why not?
  • How can this type of ritual foster and strengthen tribe? And what can we learn from this?
  • There are many ethical considerations in any modern ritual, and especially rituals involving the body. What are some of the ethical considerations to flesh suspension?
  • Has reading Felicity's account changed your perspective on this practice? In what ways?

 

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